Thursday, June 22, 2017


Look, I ain't even mad this time, I'm too burned out by this point to get mad.

At this point do you even need me to tell you Transformers:The Last Knight is a bad movie? No you don't, but fine let me talk about it a bit. In fairness, I actually kind of liked the previous film, largely because it kinda broke from the formula, emphasis on kinda. The previous film (Age of Extinction) wasn't about chasing a magical mcguffin, to an extent, after all the last movie dealt with the auto-bots trying to stop a mass market production of Transformers, while the villain just wanted to hunt down Optimus. This time however, we're back to the basic, "find this item, stop an evil robot from destroying Earth for Cybertron" plot that just keeps bogging these films down.

On the whole though, look guys, ladies, Transformers fans, I fell asleep for 20-30 minutes, which apparently featured all of the "Nemesis Prime" stuff, you know, the majority of the selling point for this one (evil Optimus). I was bored, sure, the effects look pretty, the bizarre writing (Anthony Hopkins at one point says "bitchin' ride" among other weird lines) is kinda fun, the actors are all clearly game for it, but in the end I was just bored. The only bit of fun, and I mean genuine fun, not "isn't it funny how odd and bad this is?" Is a Pain and Gain styled intro for some of the decepticons. Outside of that, there's really no bit of unironic fun here.

You don't need me to tell you this movie sucks, if you've seen the previous ones you know what you're getting into. I'd say this is worth a watch just to see Merlin, drunkenly achieve magic from the Transformers, or Harriet Tubman revealed as an ally to the auto-bots, but trust me, if you must see this, just rent it, Anthony Hopkins asking Mark Wahlberg if he has made "whoopie" is not funny enough to make this worthwhile.

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Written by Octaviano Macias 

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