Tuesday, January 2, 2018


I am not the target demographic, I've made peace with that, just because I don't enjoy it doesn't mean women can't, I'm okay with that... but it still is bad. Look, I'll admit it's okay to enjoy smut like this, it is a form of wish fulfillment for some, but does it have to be such a dumb bore? I mean something like Coco is clearly made for a certain group of people, but even if you aren't Mexican like I am I'm pretty sure it can still resonate with you. Fifty Shades Darker is just bad, I mean if this turns you on, I get it, that's fine, but as someone who doesn't get turned on by the "kinky fuckery" on display, I would rather just watch regular porn.

Now in fairness, this one isn't as bad as the first, oh, it's still shit, boring, stupid and worthless, but it's a little more tolerable. Maybe it's that we get more "kinky fuckery" to at least get something out of this experience (it's not hot, but hey, it's more interesting than the dumbass lines), maybe it's the odd moments where characters get more tense because everyone is apparently a stalker here, or maybe it's just all slightly over the top in comical ways. Who can really say, I just know I laughed a few times throughout, I wasn't as mad, nor was I as bored. It's all just kinda dumb, but in a slightly more fun way.

At one point an ex of Christian points a gun at Anna Steele (yes, that's still her name) which to me captures the film perfectly. We have a few decent actors, trying hard to make the shit written down somewhat less awful, but just witnessing this leaves me questioning so much. It's stupid, but oddly hilarious at how tense this random scene is, and that Christian stops it with the power of being a dom, while the film treats this as if this is all normal, it is not. In a smarter film, this would be played for laughs, or handled differently, like maybe Christian distracts the ex so a bodyguard can stop her. This is Fifty Shades Darker though, so a small dose of "kinky fuckery" saves the day. It's odd, but played as a tense moment of romantic strength and heroism, obviously it's fascinatingly stupid.

If you were looking for an angrier review, sorry, as awful as this was, I tolerated it more than the first. It's dumb shit, but it can earn an unintentional laugh here and there, boring, but fascinatingly moronic at various points. It's a sequel that's better than the first, but still pretty stupid, I would never want to watch it again, but if forced, give me this over the first any day. If you're a fan, by all means, enjoy it, I think you're nuts, but I get it, this is your trash, just like I have mine. For me though, it's dumb fuckery I don't regret skipping on the big screen.

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Written by Octaviano Macias 

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