Sunday, January 15, 2017


Religious films, hey it's me, Octaviano, please stop being bad.

War Room is just another religious film that wants you to believe, but never offers reason to do so. Throughout this mess, we are told worshipping God is great, but why? In fact why must we worship this God? Because we'll be bad if we don't? Please film, I can't be enlightened if you just put me down for not worshipping your God. 

I've seen religious films that I've liked, movies like The Ten Commandments, The Prince of Egypt, Noah, even Little Boy was fairly decent; it's not like I hate religion in movies, I just notice so many would rather shame you, than invite you, inspire you, or just make you at awe with religion. Be inviting, be accepting of others, show love, or just, you know, tell an interesting story, not a boring sermon shaming non-believers.

So the gist of the film, is that there's a married couple, who are bitter towards each other, the man hates the wife, because reasons, while the wife hates the man, because he's chasing skirts around town, truly the answer is obvious, marriage counseling, or divorce if it still can't work. War Room, however, decides it must be random, bringing in a senile old woman, who instead argues God will fix their love, if the woman prays in the "war room", also known as the closet, because women should keep themselves in the closet according to this film.

There's a lot wrong in this, the idea itself feels really insulting, "why talk about your issues, when you can cry to yourself in a closet?" I know some will tell me I just don't understand, but consider this, would this old lady give the same advice if the relationship was not just mentally abusive, but also physically abusive? What if the daughter of the couple takes this message to heart when she gets in her own shitty relationship? A lot of good people are lost to crap messages overpowering logical answers, "God's plan" should not be an excuse for you to avoid doing something helpful to yourself.

Of course, in this movie, the husband eventually becomes nice, possibly because God makes him nice, which is an odd use of his powers, plenty pray to lose their illness, to help those in need, to create peace, but this God will just kill the husband's boner and make him a decent guy. It's great to see the guy redeem, but imagine what this tells the audience? "Hey Tina, Steve is still an ass because you ain't praying hard enough, don't leave him though, God wants you to be beaten by Steve until he is nice." It's all just despicable.

Of course once he becomes nice the film should've ended, but it goes for another half hour, to create dumb scenarios showing how the husband is now good, but also for a random jump rope competition. In the spirit of this film going random in its final stretch, I will also go into a random direction for the final stretch of this review.

The Nintendo Switch looks pretty awesome right? Yeah it's still gonna be a quirky Nintendo console, but Nintendo usually shines at making good consoles. I like the concept, the JoyCons look fun to play with, and Bowser is dressed quite fancy in the next Mario game, it all looks great. 

I can't believe we're getting a new president who seems to hate everyone, seriously America, you have issues to work out if a game show host was your idea of a quality man.

Batman is overrated, but still pretty cool.

Skip this awful film.

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Written by Octaviano Macias 

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