Thursday, November 17, 2016


This is a movie that's coming out and one day you'll be dead, how funny isn't it?

So, Monster Trucks is the latest "trainwreck waiting to happen" movie coming to theaters, no seriously, look up Paramount's thoughts on this, they are not positive, but it's happening, my question? Why? Why is this movie even a thing? I'm not just saying that because it looks awful by the way, bad movies hitting theaters happen all the time, just ask Warner Bros. and their DCEU movies, garbage for the masses. No, my question actually exists, because this movie has been floating around for a few years now, the news and test screenings have been around long enough for me to ask, why anyone has even bothered letting this exist. Going by what I've noticed, movies that last as long as this has production wise, often are for these reasons, one, the studio is cashing in on a trend, two, someone is passionate about the idea, three, they need to rush something out and they just picked something lying around. The first seems possible, but what is this cashing in to? The third also seems possible, but those movies often aren't too pricey, which leaves option two, considering the director (Chris Wedge) has remained, I'm convinced that is what happened.

I don't think this will be a good movie, not by a long shot, but I'll admit the tentacles popping out of the truck, is probably what the producers thought was cool "a trucktapus? Neat!" Sadly, none of the producers realized they were producing a Paramount film, not a Syfy movie, so now whatever charm that would've had, will be lost in a big budget film, well, crap.

This will suck, but it'll be the E.T. for a set of younger kids who don't know any better, but will find nostalgia in it anyway. Swallow that bit of depressing reality. 

For myself, look, guys,gals, I am aware that this will suck, but it's fascinating that it exists at all. Nothing good can come from this, despite being an original film, this is proof that even originality can be awful, so let's just accept this, go on with our lives and die, because complaining about crap endlessly will make us all miserable enough to forget the positives of life, we'll be okay with a Monster Trucks, even if it's existence is puzzling.

But, seriously, how the hell did this one get made?

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Written by Octaviano Macias

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