Friday, February 3, 2017


Alright, let's get this over with, here's the best and worst of this month, enjoy.

The Love Guru is not funny, it's the cinematic equivalent of that uncle or teacher you've had at one point that makes a lot of jokes, but none are funny because they're just lame puns, references, or sayings. Essentially a "dad joke" movie but slightly vulgar to make you think it's edgy, this was a chore to sit through and I'm not surprised that this killed Myers career. I guess I should feel worse about this, but aside from not being funny, while also being pretty racist, this was not the most offensive thing I saw... I can't believe I just said that.

Captain America may not be good, but I could see hints of a good movie here. The actors are pretty good all throughout, especially Italian Red Skull who is a ton of fun as the film's bad guy. I still don't like this movie, but I imagine if I saw this as a kid I'd be more entertained because it really does feel like a standard comic featuring Cap, even if it's not a good one.

Leonard Part 6, look I'll try not to kick Bill anymore, but trust me he deserves it, and not just because this movie sucks. Much like the previous entry this isn't funny, it's a long "dad joke", one that doesn't even take advantage of its own joke premise (sequel to a series of movies we've never seen). What makes this worse, is that between the two, I think there was more potential for humor here, potential that is squandered. Again, this wasn't too offensive, so it can't be higher, but it definitely is a slog to sit through.

Reefer Madness is unintentionally a comedic masterpiece, the kind of insane film that would pass as a parody these days, but is slightly funnier now considering that this is meant to be taken seriously. This isn't a warning, so much as it is a film equivalent of your prudish relative warning you of drugs, by using the most extreme consequences imaginable. I laughed, so have others, this is a delight to watch.

War Room, religion in film isn't necessarily bad, but this sure is proof that maybe the people devoted to said religions should step off from the aspect. Of course, I don't seriously mean that, but so many faith based films these days are just vile, not just because they're bad films (which many are), but because they demonized so much or so many people, this was no exception. Of course it also earns a spot for turning into a sports film in the last half hour, rather than just ending like it should have.

Tomorrow The World! This earns a spot up here because it really did have a solid premise, the execution is where it kinda fell apart, but I'd argue it stills holds enough to see some quality. Sure, the humor is very much "aw shucks, kids will be kids" which I don't think was right for this, but the concept of a kid who has been warped by Nazi ideals is an interesting one to explore. The actors are all committed to their roles, and while the accent is a bit over the top for the lead child, he still plays the part very well, he does feel perfectly manipulative, while also giving a great performance once he breaks down and is revealed to be frightened of evil as well. I wouldn't mind seeing a remake with a better handle on the tone to this, especially considering how relevant it's starting to be again.

God's Not Dead is worse than War Room because it is much more open with its distaste, atheist? Monster, liberal blogger? You get cancer, devoted to another faith? Abusive. It is all insulting. Add to that an insufferable lead, a horrible plot that could've ended in many points, and just the worst possible ways to promote a faith, you get this mess.


Last Action Hero is a pretty good movie, it's honestly the only one here I could genuinely say that to. I can't say it was my favorite, but I do think the spoofing of then popular action movies is pretty well done here. Arnold is as likable as ever, the action is silly and over the top, while the villain just owns the show. Seriously give this movie a shot, I think it was unfairly bashed.

Final Fantasy VII:Advent Children was the absolute worst. Sorry fans, but there's hardly a story here, the action, while flashy, is boring, hard to fully understand what's going on and just a visual mess all things considered. Sure I might better understand if I were a fan of this game, but even with the knowledge of it I'm sure I would not enjoy this, being sad isn't deep, being violent doesn't make you mature, and looking realistic doesn't make you amazing (though I'm not a fan of the stiff animation honestly), this is awful and it easily was the hardest sit through of the month.

Winter's Tale is by all means a bad movie, but it is a amazing! I'm not sure what was the process here, but everyone commits to what is a batshit insane film. I'm sure everyone thought they were making a masterpiece, but it just doesn't work out like that, which is probably for the best, trust me Will Smith as the Devil, Russel Crowe talking like Popeye and so much else just makes this so fun to watch.

So there you have it, the best and worst, now it's time to move on with... you'll see. Also yes, January of Suck will return.

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Written by Octaviano Macias

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